Let’s talk about an invisible but vital piece of your wellness and fitness goals:
Your mental skills!
For lasting results, we have to train our BRAIN like muscles.
Just like a proper lunge or squat form is based on acquired skills, we can learn and develop mental skills. So, how are we doing this?
Our mental habits and thought patterns have the potential to help us get through tough situations and challenges …or totally sabotage us!
How do these 2 following statements resonate with you?
Ok, I messed up! It’s okay, no pressure! First attempt, at least I tried, and I will try again …and again and again - and let’s tweak it a bit, maybe with an easier or shorter work out!
Instead of feeling guilty, I choose to take responsibility for myself and my choices.
I analyzed what went wrong and I decided to make small but consistent changes over a long period of time.
versus
I messed up again, I am a total failure, why am I even trying? Why does it look easier for the others , why are they motivated and committed while I am not? Why can’t I be just like them?
Creating two different end results:
In the first scenario you cultivate a growth mindset. You adopt the kind of attitude that has an ALL or Something attitude - and over time: You feel empowered!
In the second one, you put too much pressure on yourself, you are too critical and worse, you compare yourself to others. Never a good idea when you are a newbie! You have the eye on the prize with an ALL or Nothing attitude. At the end you feel Overwhelmed!
So, Let’s dive in to create a different result!
Behavior (your actions)
Cognition (your thoughts) are interconnected and feed each other back and Emotion (your feelings) forth
AND they will affect us physically in a negative or positive way…
So, let’s create first a TOOLBOX of mental skills ready and easily accessible so that you can act upon your thoughts and feelings to take better actions.
As a coach, I work with my clients on their toolbox. Because everybody has a unique one.
What we put in it serves them for: difficult situations, repeated patterns that we need to break, toxic or negative people and environment…
In my plan of actions there are 2 key components:
1.Our senses: they represent a powerful yet often underused TOOL.
Tell me if the smell of your child, your favorite song, the picture of a loved one or stroking your cat doesn’t calm you down, put a smile on your face. Suddenly the glass is full (at least it is fuller than a few minutes ago)
Let me share with you a glimpse of my own toolbox - as an endurance athlete, I have a HUGE one :) -
Lavender essential oil: it brings me back to the South of France in a split second. The best scent to calm my nerves.
A playlist of downloaded songs: essential when you race in a remote place with no Wi-Fi, and I REALLY need music to lift me up.
If I suffer physically: it’s a tradeoff with my clients; I am conscious that I am pushing them so it’s normal to get my fair share too.
This one is cool, very personal and I use it all the time.
I feel that I have spent almost 2 decades, and countless miles, running or biking after my husband! He has this tattoo on his calf -quite inspirational! See below.
It is from Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido
“True Victory is Victory Over Oneself”
This is my constant reminder when we train, for him and me!
2. Tiny HABITS! Based on this book. I don’t know how many times I recommended it to my friends and clients:
The main idea is: In order to design successful habits and change your behaviors, you should do three things:
Stop judging yourself.
Take your aspirations and break them down into tiny behaviors.
Embrace mistakes as discoveries and use them to move forward.
Is it that simple, does it work? Of course, because our human brain is neuroplastic! Meaning it can form and reorganize neural pathways in response to learning, new experiences, new environments…
-Ok, it can feel foreign and hard at first
-And yes, it requires PRACTICE! You can’t try a few training sessions and decide they didn't work!
No, you simply didn’t try long enough to be able to see results.
- But over time it happens naturally/ organically/ automatically. It’s magic!
Why is it hard at first?
Change brings discomfort, renegotiation and setbacks…
Now let’s flip the script!
Change brings opportunities, discoveries, realignment and I feel more happiness and resilience.
I CAN’T promise that it’s going to be an easy and smooth path. There will be some challenges, barriers, setbacks… or -as a friend of mine always call them- “stepping stones”!
Changes bring challenges! Sure, so does aging! ... so does life!
Ok, you got a toolbox, you use your powerful 5 senses, and you develop tiny habits
But there are even more options on your menu to choose from:
1.Growth mindset
2. Radical responsibility
3. Positive reframing
4. All-or-nothing thinking
5. Resilience
6. The Power of Mantra.
Why is it proposed as a menu? Because we pick and choose, start with the easy ones, use one for a main event, another one for a totally different situation…you get the idea!
MENTAL SKILL # 1 Growth mindset
Mistakes, missteps, setbacks are opportunities to collect the information and get feedback. We analyze what went wrong and we change the plan of action accordingly to obtain a new outcome.
By the way, we don’t focus on ”doing better” we track and put into place “benchmarks”. We are interested to know as well how much control, effort and time is required from you!
When we have a fixed mindset (the opposite, right!) It usually goes with an all-or-nothing attitude. I didn’t finish my training, I am a loser, why do I even exercise? See the spiral of thoughts?
MENTAL SKILL # 2 Radical responsibility
Given my profession this topic is juicy!
Even if you don’t have a coach, transpose the concept with your relationships with your spouse, your boss, or close friends!
We -humans- are complicated when it comes to personal responsibility!
Most clients want to be told exactly what to do! Afterall, they hired a professional for this reason, it makes sense,
BUT
Being told what to do, over a long period of time, becomes increasingly irritating and is not sustainable!
We reached a dead end!
Because without YOUR responsibility in the process:
- you don’t learn or gain new skills to improve or solve your own problems.
- you don’t take ownership of the outcome or consequences.
- you are still in the passenger’s seat, not on the driver’s one. It hinders your personal growth
I always remind my clients that, when they see results, it is 80% thanks to them. They put the time, money, energy and efforts - with some tears and sweat along the way- to reach their goals
I take credit at about 20% as a guide. It must be a collaboration process.
Especially with clients in rehab or medical treatment, that’s the most rewarding feeling!
They simply feel in charge! Which will speed up their healing process.
MENTAL SKILL # 3 Positive reframing
This is by far my favorite one and the one I practice daily!
We can’t change events and phases in our life but we can change the lens on them, the way we perceive them.
I promise: the more you practice the more automatic it becomes!
FLIP THAT SCRIPT in your head!
And
I DON’T IMPLY that the message has to be all the time and 100% positive -like toxic positivity-
Sometimes just acknowledging that this training was off -because we were tired- is totally fine:
You did show up
We changed the intensity accordingly, a more restorative type
So, it wasn’t a waste of time, because you recharged your batteries. We switched to plan B.
MENTAL SKILL # 4 All-or-nothing thinking
Your present
situation → A pipe dream
Instead of
Your present
situation → → →1st intermediate goal → → →2nd → → → 3rd→→…..Ultimate goal
Cultivate the CONSISTENCY of your good little habits! Be happy with small wins on multiple occasions, instead of killing yourself trying to be perfect occasionally.
MENTAL SKILL # 5 Resilience
A. I am happy when my clients see results physically.
but
B. I am always thrilled when I see their results mentally and psychologically, when I witness the boost of confidence and resilience in them.
because
A took place because of B
B is the factor that will nurture, develop and maintain in the long run A
The definition of resilience is powerful in itself
MENTAL SKILL # 6 The power of mantra
Ok, the word “mantra” doesn’t resonate with me (I prefer “motto”) that’s why I gave you these synonyms.
These are powerful:
-They reinforce your positive spirit and mental skills.
-They ground you in the present moment.
-They help you decrease your stress and anxiety and feel more in “action mode”.
As a coach, I am here to help my clients to troubleshoot their challenges and develop their mental fortitude to start or maintain healthful behaviors.
I hope you found these ideas useful and will put some of them into practice successfully.
If you need more help on a regular basis to organize things in your head, don’t hesitate to reach out!
One time clinic ($ 159)
Analysis of your health and training questionnaire
Video consultation with you 90 minutes
Individualized program tailored sent to you
Ongoing support is available after the session: $79 60 min when you need it!
Monthly wellness and fitness coaching ($ 200/month) 3 months minimum
Analysis of your health and training questionnaire
Video consultation with you 60 minutes
Individualized program tailored sent to you
30 min weekly coaching call
Support by e mail or text. Adjustments when needed.
Here is how I work:
Step 1. We discuss your case over the phone. It is a 20 min free consult, no obligation.
Step 2. If you decide we are a match, I send out a questionnaire to know you better (nutrition, fitness, your mental state, your environment, your selfcare routine, sleep, stress…)
Step 3. Once I review your answers, we have a video call to brainstorm together and put a plan into place
Step 4. Shortly after, I will send you a plan in writing.
Now you are ready to apply over and over!
In Health,
Anne Biscaldi
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