The Do’s and Don’ts, when asking for help or advise
on social media or supporting groups.
When asking for help in training, nutrition, hormonal issues and therapy, fitness, wellness and Health, you can end up feeling confused, maybe even more than before?
As a professional, I am deeply irritated at times when I read comments and answers, women are receiving, when they ask for support or advice.
“It works for me!”. “Lift heavy, cardio is a waste of time!”. “Eat less, train more.”. “Take this supplement, or here is my hormonal treatment”.
Especially in regards to the last statements, you really need a professional opinion and testing done. Don’t play around with your hormones.
If there is no explanation or context – for example, what is the background of this person? - how can you judge if you should even consider it?
It works for them, but will it work for you?
No, because you simply can’t copy and paste a formula for your own personal health and fitness.
You need to create your own recipe starting with an evaluation of your own fitness level, nutritional habits, and stress level…! That’s your starting point: an honest picture of you in 2024 (not decades ago) with the lifestyle you live that goes with it…Then it is simply a matter of trial and error.
Don’t get me wrong I totally validate groups of women supporting each other, asking for help, showing positive results, exchanging ideas etc. I use them too. Actually I am in phase three (they call it the “Thawing” one LOL) of a frozen shoulder issue. Yes, I got some great ideas and support online… because I was able to sort through the info relevant to my own case and based on my professional experience too.
By the way, you can read my other blog with my humble opinion - as a personal trainer- on when it’s the right moment to use a fitness support group:
How to start exercising again when it’s been…a while!
So, let’s get started first on how you formulate and post your question:
When women start with an apology “Sorry for the lengthy details about me and my situation.”
Please don’t apologize!
On the contrary, that is the smart and RIGHT way to ask! We need data and background info on you to get the most appropriate and tailored help you deserve.
My onboard questionnaire for clients is 4 pages long! I love as many details as possible. We are all complex and unique human beings, with very different lifestyles. We need the pig picture!
Asking this way will make your life easier too. Let me explain. People who took the time to read all your details will provide you with a better quality detailed answer. You will avoid the 2 cents, 2 words answer, the ones you don’t want in the first place.
Anyways, they already scrolled you down.
There is also a good chance that these people will find similarities with you and your experience. It will resonate with them. Your profiles will be a closer match.
The way you asked for help has already eliminated unwanted answers and narrowed it down to a higher standard.
Next step: You received a panel of information. Maybe more than you asked for!
All these answers, ideas or advice range between the two ends of the spectrum, contradicting each other and everything in between.
Logic, right?... but confusing!
If you were already confused, where are you standing now?
So now, you are simply going to SCAN through a lens meaning YOUR personal lens:
Are we comparing Apples to Apples? Does this person sound like me (lifestyle, physique, values…)? If not, move on!
Is this info relevant to me? If not, move on!
Is this info supporting me? If not, move on!
Is this info bringing new light to your problem? If not, move on!
Is the implication of the info feasible to apply to my life? If not, move on!
Is this advice too radical or extreme? It’s probably the case, move on!
So, after going through your personal lens, let’s use more filters! By selecting the following ones:
-Some ideas catch your curiosity.
-You got an AHA moment!
- You never consider this possibility and yet it might be a fit…
Now you have a pool of quality answers, let’s finalize it.
See if “the author” of this advice would be willing to give you further details to validate or not your first impression:
Ask for details, clarification, context, source of information, their background etc…
Last but not least: APPLY EXECUTE DO IT! And stick to the plan!
I am guilty too! We are receiving a lot of info online, but how many do we put into practice? A healthy recipe, a short training session, we have the references of a book that we haven’t read yet! The list goes on.
Let’s get more content, more quality and less buzz so we can focus on our own health and listen to our own body which - in its infinite wisdom- sends us signals, cues and information too.
In Health,
Anne
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