If you’re wondering how to start exercising again and feel overwhelmed about where to even begin, well, that’s totally valid.
A lot of people who have lost their motivation turn to fitness groups for inspiration and inevitably they ask what others are doing!
While an online community can give you support, positive examples, and inspiration, it is the wrong tool to get things started. Use it, please do, but for later -as there are less than a few chances it will get you started. Let me explain:
Right from the start, there are some issues to consider:
Are we comparing apples to apples? Are you picking the brain of someone who has the same fitness profile? Same body type, weight range, lifestyle, etc.?
If you have some restrictions, medical conditions, are under medical treatment, how do these capabilities of your body align with theirs?
Are these people professionals? If yes, what’s their background? I can guarantee that you will get very different advice from a lifter, versus a yogi or a trail runner.
But my main issue is: you start to compare yourself to others, you copy and paste ideas, but are they relevant to you?
In the end, did you really get started, or are you still browsing other people’s lives?
I don’t dismiss these groups. On the contrary, I am part of some groups. But use them wisely, once you are rolling on your own. Once you have been back on track for some weeks regularly and you want to get positive reinforcement! You won’t feel like the black sheep anymore, you are part of the flock, and you will feel you belong to this group!
Again, if you feel like it, share and post your progress! You will receive tons of compliments and support, which will boost your confidence.
It will feel MORE powerful and meaningful!
BUT we are not there …YET!
Let’s get back to basics, meaning YOU!
STEP # 1 Analyze your past experiences. When, why, how did you lose it? What was working for you, what wasn’t?
It’s always my very first question for returning clients. What went wrong? Sometimes it’s a major event (death or sickness of a loved one, possibly moving homes, lost your fitness environment, divorce...) or unfortunately an accumulation of events.
These hurdles of life become a wall that you can’t climb anymore…YET!
So, let’s dissect these hurdles one by one, so you can feel that this time you are empowered and have a plan to overcome them!
Let’s practice with one of my clients as a case study:
Event # 1, D. trained for a full year – with success- for the wedding of her daughter. A few months, before the D Day, we had a talk: “You know I have been training brides to be and/or their moms for a while. They are driven, super motivated…until the D Day…not a day after! We need to prepare goals and your mind for AFTER!
Event # 2, D. moved to another state shortly after, selling her house, packing, moving to a temporary place, before moving to her new home. Quite a stressful time, “I have so many other things to do in a day … I don’t even know anymore where my training clothes are, shoes, weights, bands”.
Event # 3, Change of environment: “the summer is brutal here; I can’t train outside anymore. Between sleeping in extra in the morning or going to the gym, my decision is made”
Coming back to your case! On the other side, there must have been some good things happening, what aspects did you enjoy (social, physical, mental, your strength was awesome). Revisit these emotions as they will give you a boost.
STOP & THINK:
List your hurdles, analyze them and their consequences on your motivation.
Then tackle the EASIEST, the one you can find simple solutions for.
The one you have the most control on,
and you are comfortable and confident to act on.
Fitness is supposed to be fun; define your fun! Do it in detail. Then validate the aspects you want to reconnect with, and the ones you don’t need anymore, because you have simply changed.
STEP # 2 Do something TODAY!
It’s as simple as that. I didn’t say:” Exercise today!” -unless it’s suddenly an urgent need- but
Act towards your goals! as simple as bringing out of the closet your exercise outfits, check online for classes, or a local gym, search for quick/simple exercise routines, think of the logistics. Initiate your brain to sparkle!
As soon as, in your head, you hear” it’s too complicated, too expensive, doesn’t work in terms of logistics… STEP DOWN/ STEP BACK/ SPLIT IN 2 this task but keep going.
Small wins create momentum and action which will motivate you to go to the next step. Set doable goals!
A big common mistake
PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO BE MOTIVATED TO TAKE ACTION.
IN REALITY, ACTIONS CREATE MOTIVATION!
STOP & THINK:
Going back to your easiest hurdle:
Organize the logistics
Check the cost (or maybe not, a walk or a jog are free)
You might want to involve a friend or partner to support you (explain your plan and why you need her/ him)
Put it in your calendar: days and times (with a weekly reminder LOL, until you don’t need it)
Okay, everything is ready. We are in the first training session. We don’t feel quite comfortable. It’s not easy to come back at all levels:
emotionally: a million thoughts are rushing in your head. You are learning or re learning new skills, it is totally normal.
physically: I always hear: “I am discovering /using new muscles I didn’t know I have!”
your breathing capacity is being tested too. You feel your lungs capacity being less than optimal:) LOL
For all the reasons above: let’s work on the mental piece of the puzzle!
I would illustrate them through my GOLDEN RULES:
RULE # 1: It’s always enough!
Women have the tendency to mention what they didn’t execute well, the reps they didn’t do. Feel weak because they had to take a break in the set.
Flip the script and mention OUT LOUD what you did right. Brag about it! Always reframe in a positive manner!
As long as you start I don’t care what the content/format is (lift, jog, swim, bike)
Doing NOTHING is not enough! But doing SOMETHING is always enough.
Don’t worry about the content of your Something, as it will GROW (body becomes more efficient (muscle memory, stronger joints and ligaments, your resilience improves so thanks to all these factors you will achieve more within the same amount of time)
The ALL-OR-NOTHING ATTITUDE has to go
Instead, you want to cultivate the
The ALL-OR-SOMETHING ATTITUDE
After all you did show up for your training, you started to move, sweat. Your blood flow is pumping YAY! We are on the right path, the movement path!
STOP & THINK: Come on, say it out loud, what are the multiples things you did right during this session.
At the end of all these positive comments, a tap on the shoulder is welcome too!
Mine is this one: when I trail run and almost fall but manage to catch myself, I always congratulate my body and tap myself on the shoulder: “Good catch Anne!”
RULE # 2:
Don’t compare with what you could do 20 years ago, the weights you could lift, the pace you could run. It serves zero purpose, it’s defeating, you will never get NEW, nurturing ideas for your present body with this mindset. Especially if you used to be a competitive athlete.
Instead cultivate: the third rule
RULE # 3: simplify and shift the focus
· Use fresh ideas in the present moment and conditions, with your body as it is today!
· Take things slow, with simple and achievable steps.
· Get rid of the judgmental or poor-me mindsets.
· Don’t put pressure on yourself and enjoy the process!
If you enjoy the process and go beyond the initial post muscle soreness (sorry, your body is waking up too) you will also boost your neurotransmitters, the feel-good ones, like serotonin, dopamine, allopregnanolone. Personally, I am a sucker for these!
RULE # 4: Honor and learn from your mistakes:
Too me, there 2 categories of mistakes:
The ones you should avoid at all costs:
Skipping warming-up and cool-down, too much too soon. Not resting or sleeping enough between workouts, poor exercise selection as they are not suited to you, following influencers with no professional background (some have really no business giving advice on fitness nutrition or health).
The ones you should embrace:
All the little missteps, loss of balance or precision, poor execution on a move. Wrong clothing or equipment. All the little details you need to fine tune to make it better.
Something went wrong! Of course, and it’s totally normal and expected. I am sometimes a bit concerned when clients don’t report negative feedback (are they paying enough attention? Are they hiding these details from me for the wrong reasons? the list goes on).
As a coach, I have many more rules! But let’s finish with this important one:
RULE # 5 Open your mind to what fitness and wellness looks like for you!
And all the ways we can be active.
Let’s compare 2 cases:
· a person working in an office going to the gym 4 times per week (there are 168 hours per week. So, 4 out of 168 hours).
· My second one is a school principal / farmer with many acres, animals and about 150 children (he is actually a dear client who averages 10,000 steps a day, dealing with heavy animals and carrying their food, it is intensive labor work all day long). On top of that, we train together twice a week.
Clearly my second case is much more active daily. No label on the type of activity, no statistics or tracking device.
“As long as you're getting your body in motion, you’re positively influencing not only your physical health, but your mental health as well, “Your body doesn’t know if you are squatting with your child or dumbbells in your hands!
So, I invite you to rethink your active time and how you can expand it!
STOP & THINK:
You have infinite possibilities: dancing at home, line dancing, roller skating, or playing at the park with your kids or grandchildren. List yours!
In a nutshell
Analyze what went wrong in the past.
Make a simple, detailed plan of action. Ask for support if needed.
Don’t wait for motivation to come to you. Take small and simple steps
Start today! Don’t wait for better conditions.
No judgment. Be present and positive (or at least neutral).
At the end of your session, congratulate yourself, no matter what.
Learn from the inevitable mistakes you are going to make in the process.
Find all the ways you can stay more active daily in fun ways for you.
You got this! I am rooting for you to take the very first step!
I hope you found these ideas useful and will put some of them into practice successfully.
You can read my other blog as well on “the role of mental skills”
As a coach, I am here to help my clients to troubleshoot their challenges and develop their mental fortitude to start or maintain healthful behaviors.
Finally, if you need more personalized help on setting up a program tailored to you and your needs, I offer clinics:
One time clinic ($ 159)
Analysis of your health and training questionnaire
Video consultation with you 90 minutes
Individualized program tailored sent to you
Ongoing support is available after the session: $79 60 min when you need it!·
How do my clinics work:
Step 1. We discuss over the phone your case. It is a 20 min free consultation, no obligation.
Step 2. If you decide we are a match, I send out a questionnaire to know you better (nutrition, fitness, your mental state, your environment, your selfcare routine, sleep, stress…)
Step 3. Once I review your answers, we have a video call to brainstorm together and put a plan into place together. It is a collaboration process. You are part of the solution; you know your body better than anybody else!
Step 4. I will send you shortly after the plan in writing. It’s a google form on which we communicate and exchange ideas.
Now, you are ready to execute your plan!
If you have more questions: email me at anne@livinghealthylife.com
If you don’t hear from me, I didn’t get your e mail. Text me instead: 954 305 3383
In Health,
Anne Biscaldi
Certified Personal Trainer- Wellness and Fitness Coach-
Certified Menopause coaching specialist
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